Here’s the truth: sometimes I feel like a fraud. Sometimes I have bad days. Most of the time I’m only showing my ‘HOLY-CRAP-LIFE-IS-AWESOME’ good days. Sometimes I doubt myself and my path. Sometimes I don’t feel like doing my work. Sometimes I completely lack creativity. Sometimes I’m afraid that I made the wrong choice.

One of the things that I hate most is inauthenticity. I don’t like it when people only give one side of the story, especially when it’s just the bright, shiny ending. I like to see the guts of it. I want to know how it works. What does the day-to-day look like? What is it like when you’re in the middle of it?

A law of attraction lifestyle to me means: pursuing my joy and purpose every day, looking for new ways to grow and learn, and intentionally creating the life I want to live. 

And the truth is, that’s what I set out to do – tell the story of what it really looks like to live a law of attraction lifestyle. I haven’t been doing that. Because on the hard days, I don’t know what to write. I don’t know how to move forward, so I’ve just been leaving that part out. That stops now.

Here are a few things that I’m actually going through, so you can see my middle:

• I’m really good at just not doing my work if I don’t feel like it. I’m a master avoider.

• More often than not, ‘not feeling like it’ is not a product of laziness. It’s a product of having an issue or emotion that needs to be worked through and, instead of facing it head on, I avoid it.

• Sometimes I’m just not ready to face it head on and it takes time.

• During that time, I often make myself feel bad for not being ‘productive’ enough, because for the life of me I can’t completely shake the hustle mentality.

• I hate that I can’t shake the hustle mentality.

• All of the above isn’t always obvious until I’m through the rough patch. For the past two or three weeks I’ve been lacking motivation, but I couldn’t see why clearly until I talked with my life coach yesterday.

• I’m working on finding a voice that I’m comfortable with on social media and I’m learning that social media is a trigger for my fear of judgement (that I thought I had moved past).

• I tend to ‘force’ my way into doing hard things thinking that it’s a cure-all for fear. Spoiler alert: it’s not.

• I love honesty and I’m really proud of myself for writing this post. I believe in celebrating wins big and small.

This is probably sounding more dramatic than it is, but it’s important for you to know that I’m not always 100% joyful about everything I do. I’m not always confident that I’m doing the right thing or going about things the right way.

BUT

I always come back to my faith that the universe has my back. It’s hard to remember during the rough patches all the reasons you started, but you will turn the corner and you will remember.

That’s why I keep at it. I set my compass in the highs, not in the lows. Because every time I start to feel better, I realize I was headed the right direction all along. Living in the lows would cause me to live out of fear and doubt – and that’s no way to live.

So I’m excited to start sharing more of my middle. If there’s anything that you’ve been curious about or want to see more of, please let me know in the comments! As always, I’m so thankful for the opportunity to be here sharing with you!