“The extent to which you don’t have something is the extent to which you are resisting it.”

– Brad Yates

Resistance is the reason why when you decide you want something, it doesn’t magically appear in front of you immediately. In order to receive something, you have to be a vibrational match to it and if you have resistance around it, you aren’t going to match. So resistance is when your subconscious thoughts are contrary to what you want. If you want one thing, but you expect something different, you’re going to get exactly what you expect. A lot of times, what people expect is not necessarily what they want. For instance, if you want a promotion, but you expect it to go to someone you think is more qualified. Another good example is when you really want to lose weight, but you feel fat. Obviously you’re wanting to feel confident/strong/healthy, but you don’t already feel that way. There’s some resistance stopping you from being an energetic match to your ideal body and until you release it, you won’t be able to maintain any weight loss.

So how do we spot resistance? Well, like Brad said, if you don’t have it, there’s very likely some resistance there. A great place to start is asking yourself how you feel about the topic. If it’s anything less that “good,” you’ve probably got some resistance. If you feel desperate for it, you’ve likely got a lot of resistance. That thirsty feeling is definitely going to get in the way of allowing the good things to manifest. And truly, all we are doing is learning how to get out of our own way and allow the good things to come in. Getting clear on your feelings around what you want is a good first step. Do you feel like you deserve it? Do you feel worthy of it? Do you feel like you’re already the type of person that has it? Are you expecting it to come? There should be no doubts that you can have the thing that you want. One example I like to think about is starting a family. I have no doubt that I will eventually have a family of my own – whatever form it takes. I’m absolutely sure. That certainty is what I aim for on everything I want.

Once you know you’ve got some resistance and maybe have an idea of what your resistance is, what do you do about it? This is basically the game of moving up the emotional scale, but on a micro level. We want to get to a place of feeling better about this topic. Here are a few ways you can do just that:

Rewrite Your Beliefs

If you’ve identified a specific limiting belief, techniques like tapping or affirmations can help you rewrite your subconscious thoughts to match the outcome you want. Change your expectations to change your results.

Find the Feeling

You can take a more general approach and start visualizing having the thing that you want so that you can get used to the feeling of already having it. Feel that feeling and feel it as often as you can.

Make Space

Maybe you try making some space for the thing to come in by cleaning up your home or decluttering your mind through meditation. Sometimes you’ve got to let go of a few things that aren’t serving you (mentally and physically) to make space for more good stuff to come in.

Take the Next Right Step

One big misnomer about law of attraction is that you can just manifest anything with your mind, but a little action based on good faith is required too. What feels like the best thing you can do to move forward? Go do that. Starting the process signals to the universe that you’re serious.

Put Good Out

What you put out into the world, you get back. Put something good out into the world. Volunteer a few hours of your time, give a donation to the homeless person on the street, or snuggle some kiddos that need it. This will make you feel better and give you good juju. Bonus points if you can make your act of giving related to the thing that you want to receive.

Let it Go

Of course we can’t get too caught up in waiting on it to get here because that doesn’t make us feel good. You’ve got to let go of control a little. If you expect it to come in a very particular way, that makes it very hard for the universe to make it happen. State what you want, get specific with a timeline, expect it to happen and sit back while the universe works its magic.

Distract

If you’re in that thirsty/desperate place, my best advice is to distract yourself until you feel a little bit better or more hopeful. No amount of “doing” is going to help you in this state. You’re not going to be able to get where you want by being so desperate for it that you’re willing to do anything or work super hard to get it. Go do something fun that makes you feel good and keep your mind off things. Slowly move up that emotional scale and once you’re in a better place, then use some of the tactics above.

Resistance is the reason that the third step in Abraham’s basic principles, Allowing, is so much harder than you’d think. It seems like it should be so easy to just sit back and let it come to you, but if you don’t have the faith or you expect a different outcome, that resistance creeps in and it’s the antithesis of allowing. This happens to everyone – it’s SO common. The first step is even understanding what’s happening so we’re already ahead of the curve! I’ve definitely got some resistance around my relationship with food + body image. Now, let me know where you think you’ve got resistance – I’d love to hear where everyone is at!