How often are you doing something not because you want to but because you think you should. I’ve written on this subject before and thought I had moved past it, but wouldn’t you know that those old shoulds just turned into new shoulds – shoulds of the self-improvement variety.

A few common shoulds that people experience:

• I should keep my house clean all the time

• I should never eat junk food

• I should call my mother X times day

• I should go to the gym 6 times a week

• I should always say yes to requests from friends + family

I threw these out the window and ended up acquiring some new ones:

• I should be working x number of hours a day

• I should be meditating every day

• I should be growing x amount/month

• I should be manifesting xyz by this time.

• I should be in alignment more often

• I should be farther along by now

Feeling indebted to or guilty about something is not a healthy energetic relationship to be in. In my case, feeling like I was letting my business down by not doing or being enough was putting all kinds of negative energy in the way of my success. That’s is no way to help my business thrive.

You might be in a situation where you’re trying hard to do what you think you “should” do and we all know, trying hard is the opposite of alignment. That’s not the type of business I want to build. So when you find yourself in this situation, what can you do about it?

(if you prefer video, watch more on this topic here)

Let it be what it is:

See the situation for what it is and just sit with it. It’s not good or bad by nature. It just is what it is. You assign the meaning to it. There are very likely worse things.

Figure out the worst-case scenario:

Sometimes seeing the worst-case scenario makes you realize you can live with that. In most cases, you can problem-solve a way to pull yourself out of that situation should you really need to. For me, this meant accepting that I could always go back to hustling and get a job (any job) to pay the bills. That wouldn’t kill me. Also, think about the community you have to lean on if you absolutely had to. There is always a way up from rock bottom and knowing that takes away some of the fear.

Give it up to a higher power:

Offer your woes or stresses up to a higher power. Once it’s out of your hands and not your sole responsibility anymore, it feels a lot lighter. And having something/someone on your side is reassuring. One of my favorite asks/prayers is: I would like to ask for a resolution to my feelings of ____. My ideal outcome is ____ or something even better.

Know it will all work out:

Speaking of a higher power, do you feel like they have your back? Do you believe that everything happens for a reason and things generally work themselves out? If so, rest in the idea that this is only temporary, and things are getting better. Everything is working out in your favor.

If all else fails, ignore it:

If you’re feeling especially yucky about a certain subject or situation, don’t dwell on it. The best thing you can do for yourself is ignore it. Once you get a little distance, it’s easier to be more optimistic and open yourself up to solutions.

It seems simple when you’re looking at it from a distance but a little trickier when you’re in the middle of it. Is there anything you’re gripping to tightly or trying too hard at? Give it some space and let it breathe.

P.S. Check out my IGTV video on how trying to hard can create resistance and let me know what other videos you’d like to see!